Today, I’m 15 weeks pregnant, and I was able to go to the OB, hear the baby’s heart beat on a Doppler, and even hear a solid thud of a kick. The reassurance of hearing that little fluttering, to know that the little heart is pumping away, takes a load off my mind.
And yet, I know I’ll repeat the cycle of fear and worry that followed me the past few weeks leading up to the appointment. In the second trimester, most of my symptoms are gone, and at this point, I can’t feel baby move just yet. The nausea and puking were almost reassuring, now that I look back, because I /knew/ baby was doing something.
But I’m relying on what I can see, what I can hear, what I can feel. But does the Bible not say, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”? Whether I can feel little one or not, the One who made his/her form, and continues to do so, has that growing body in His hands.
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Isaiah 41:13
How thankful I am for these little glimpses at the life inside of me. May it be a reminder of the goodness I’ve been given, and a remedy for anxiety and distrust in the One who has it all under control. More than likely, this baby will be in my arms in April. But I will not take the goodness of the Lord for granted, nor fail to praise His wisdom if this is not meant to be.
- Church Abuse–Musings
- Halfway there